Bullet DODGED

Ok guys I have some news. Hot oral surgeon is married. Yep my dream man is not available. You might think that I am devastated. That I will go home and cry in the shower for a solid 2 hours and 45 minutes not caring that the hot water has run out. That I will throw out all my crest whitening strips in a fit of heartbreak rage! DAMN YOU CREST! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!!!! Well friends you are mistaken. SORELY mistaken. I am actually scheduled to be in his room today and that's when I noticed his ring AND his SHAVED arms. Gross. This guy is a total Mona Lisa. So much better looking far away. And he is a little on the cocky side. Like please get OVER yourself. It's not as if girls are secretly stalking you based on your looks. sheesh. Now I know you guys are thinking I have given up on my effort to be seemingly less shallow but SHAVED ARMS!. That is just too much. I could MAYBE let a shaved chest fly but not shaved arms. Its too reminiscent of "the seal" the guy I went on a few dates that told me he shaved his entire body. I spit out my chicken Kiev right on the spot. bleh. shudder.

In other news I had my first kickball game last week and the umpire is a nice little biscuit. We flirted. He wanted me I could tell by the way he was looking at my newly self tanned legs. Either that or he was wondering why my legs were ten shades darker then the rest of my body. So I made a mistake and only tanned my legs! It's only because my cousin asked me if I was trying out to be a vampire cause my legs were so white. Lets just say the Edward Cullen look does not transfer to real life. Anyway we lost our game by A LOT but I did meet some very nice people and really stepped up my trash talking game. One guy I deemed as "beardy" hates me. Apparently it threw off his kicking game when I was catcher. Could have something to do with the fact that I would run so close behind him when we was running up to kick the ball whispering " beardy, beardy, beardy" So If I go missing I would start with a him. Look for a guy with a beard.

What else. I signed up for country line dancing lessons. I really want to learn the tush push. Will let you know how that works out. Went out on Saturday night and it was a bust. Slept and worked on Sunday. Friday night rented Night at the Museum 2. Lame. I also bought a Wii and the wii active. Not to be confused with Wii fit or that stupid Jenny Mcarthy fitness thing. I will not support her because she claims that immunizations cause kids to become autistic. It makes me question Jim Carrey that he dates her. After all you are the company you keep. Which is why I am no longer raquetball partners with Rod Blagojevich. I miss that floppy haired quipster.

Ooooooooooohhhh how could I forget. I found out where all the hot men hang out. At the gym. Definitely motivates me. However I am going to have to find a way not to pick my wedgies on the treadmill. But I mean what are you supposed to do! I cant possibly run a 5 min mile with a wedge! That is just wrong. I am working on it though. Might step up my outfit selection as well. Soccer shorts and a t-shirt from 1998 that has bleach stains might be unattractive. Too bad I don't work for Sports Authority still and can rock that discount. dag.


till next time.